This post will be a "vent" of sorts. It will be random as I am just going to let me thoughts be typed as they come.
End of note.
Tomorrow is the big day, I have my first day at the job. I know I should be excited that God has a job for me but I feel uneasy to say the least. I'm not excited about this job. I have an interview for a different job tomorrow morning. It's with Hoosier Park which is also in Anderson. It would be graveyard shift...yay raaaa, NOT. This just bites.
The devil or something is pulling at me and I don't like it one bit. I can't seem to get into the Word any and praying is very difficult. I think that the devil has a hard hold of me because he knows the Lord is planning something big for me. I'm tired of being the devil's puppet. Church is doing the one month to live challenge and I feel it will be life changing. I'm in a small group of other single moms and its nice to have a group of others that are in the same stage of life I'm currently in.
In the introduction which is the first day, the book asks what are five things you'd change without thinking too long or hard if you knew you had a month to live. Mine were get into the Word and actually read it, spend more time playing with little man, changing my "thought" language, less time sleeping and eating and more time doing things, and living a life Christ would love.
I'm struggling with thoughts of the past like crazy. I don't want the past but the devil and my mind keep wanting me to think I do. So not cool.
With the job situation, I feel like maybe I should start a home daycare. It would be for second shift parents because there are very few of those available to the world. I feel at ease when I think about starting this, like maybe God has put this on my heart. I would get to be home with little man and make a difference in other children's lives. Be that positive influence they so need. Its something to think and pray about for sure.
Life. It is not easy. I know no one ever said it would be easy but wow.
I am going to limit my computer time so I can spend more time being productive and spending time with little man.
I have the interview tomorrow morning at seven. I have to be up early and get little man to my mom's so she can watch him. Bed here I come