Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Pickles & Grace

I'm in a pickle. Not a real pickle...those are just gross! I have an interview tomorrow for a job. I NEED a job very badly but this one is second shift and weekends. I have brought the matter to God and He did help me get to my first interview even when I was dragging. I will be taking the job if it is offered. Especially since it will be the first job I've been offered since I started looking. I need to just stop worrying about that and give it all to the big man upstairs.

On a much happier note, church on Sunday was INCREDIBLE!!! I honestly felt God for the first time in a long while. I know God wants me to be at Park Chapel and that is such a great feeling. I attended Starting Point, which is the getting to know PC class. It was great to hear all about what they believe and WHY! I like to know why so that was great. I believe with all my heart and soul God has put me there for a reason. Big things are gonna happen.

The message was the last of our Heart of God series. It had to do with the prodigal son story in Luke. Danny really hit us hard with a message from God about being prideful and acting like the "older brother." I cried because God had placed on my heart some things about my past. I know with His grace I will be able to overcome it but it is going to take time and healing.

My bestest friend, Abby, let me borrow some of her books. One was Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. Honestly one of the most amazing books I've ever read in my life! I know God has someone out there for me who is going to love me unconditionally. I will be second to God of course! That is important.

You know how they (not sure who "they" are :-p) say a relationship is like a triangle...God at the top and the man and woman on the bottom ends. Well I never really fully grasped that until I read Francine's book. God is to be above all else, even a boyfriend or husband. I cannot wait to have that sort of relationship with a man where God makes us truly one. At MOPS I see women that have that kind of relationships with their husbands and it gives me hope :-)

At first the thought of being single for (at least) a year was daunting. I know God has put it on my heart to do so but still it felt hard and scary. Now I'm actually greatly looking forward to it! Don't get me wrong, I love to love with a man but if I ever want to have the relationship God has planned I need to get my life right with Him. He is the only one who completely understands everything I've gone through and been in. I know it will take great time and healing for me to get over my past but with His grace anything can happen!

I am struggling with getting into His Word. I don't know why its so hard. I love to read and I know there are incredible stories and lessons to learn from in the bible but I'm struggling with that. If you are reading this and know a good way to help get into the word, please share!

I am off to bed so I can get some rest before my interview tomorrow.
good night all

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